Welcome to another episode of Wholehearted! Today's post (as you may have guessed) is about a special announcement and awesome life change for My Other Half and I, as well as the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it.
Moving is a part of life that so many of us Millenials in and around Boston are familiar with. It's just a part of life. Whether you're moving to/graduating from college, your rent is climbing, you or your roommates are getting hitched, or the multi-family house you're living in is falling apart, you're probably going to have to pack up and move at some point.
You may recall from my previous (and first) Wholehearted post that change sometimes totally freaks me out, and BIG changes pretty much freak me out 100% of the time. Change was hardly ever part of my world growing up, so when I became a young adult I had to figure out how to navigate it, and I'm definitely still in the process!
I'll be honest, I'm still in a bit of disbelief that this move, and the place we're moving to, is real. It's much more spacious, completely renovated, brighter, in a better part of Somerville, the landlord is friendlier, and the rent is lower than the place Andy and I currently live. WHAT?? All I can say is that we're SO thankful for our friends who connected us with this place, and SO blessed. Seriously, God is good. I'm tempted to feel like I don't deserve a home as nice as this, but I'm making the choice right now as I'm writing this to not even let my thoughts go there!
The week and weekend before we signed the lease was crazy. The entire process from establishing contact with the realtor/landlord to signing the lease lasted about 6 days, and with Andy and I having busy schedules, I barely had time to process it all. I'm SO excited for this next phase of life, but it comes with some feels (as usual)! I'm an internal processor and an intuitive feeler, and even with 25 years of experience, I'm not a master of figuring out this combo yet. Especially when it comes to handling big life changes.
When Andy and I finally had an evening to sit down and talk through the possibilities of lifestyle changes that the new apartment would bring, we both had a similar thought—our current apartment is SMALL. If we're both home, we're constantly around each other and within sight and earshot...because we have to be. So far, in our first year of marriage, this has rarely been a problem. We both value quality time with the people we care about, so constantly having the other's energy around has been nice and we've grown to like the coziness of being home together. Even both being homebodies and introverted, we've made this little apartment work and oftentimes enjoyed the ride.
So when the possibility arose of "What if we don't see each other or talk to each other as much?" I'll admit, I suddenly felt afraid and my brain went "Oh no. If we have all this physical space between us, that might lead to emotional space, and then before you know it we'll have separate lives and talk to each other for like 5 minutes a day." So I got upset, and had trouble verbalizing the fear I had. When I did manage to put words to it, Andy, the wonderful man he is, put a hand on my shoulder and let me know that not only was it ok for me to have a legitimate concern and get teared up over this, he told me that we would make it work.
He reassured me more than once that we will make the new space and living arrangement work because we can both commit to doing that. We can commit to making sure we don't ignore each other. We will be just fine, because we have a choice in how we handle our circumstances and communicate about what we need. I couldn't agree more, and honestly, this was exactly what I needed to hear and know in my heart. I always need this reminder because I often forget about all the choices we truly do have in a day. Even our thoughts can be a choice! This adjustment and improvement in communication will definitely take some work on my end, but it's work with a purpose that I'm excited to do, and I can't wait to see the results.
So all that to say…we're moving!! We'll finally have space to have friends over, Andy will have a room to write in, and I'll have a mini-studio to do all my photo work in! For our first move together post-wedding, I think we hit the jackpot! We already moved some boxes over there and I still can't believe it!
I'll be honest and say there's probably not a whole lot I'll miss about our current apartment. Maybe the character of the butcher block counter. Mostly though, just the fact that it was our first place together. One thing we won't be able to do in the new place, however, is get photos like these—they were taken at dusk when there was a tornado watch. No tornadoes, but we did see some amazing orange clouds from our roof!
What was your last big, scary life change, and how did you stay grounded in that time? I would love to hear your stories, so let me know in the comments!